I remembered!

Reconnecting was what I wanted to talk about.

In the wake of my now dead relationship, and trying to build the relationships I had before I went travelling, I have gotten in to the spirit of reconnecting.  It may or may not also have something to do with my impending 30th birthday….!

But I feel like that’s how I’ve been for the past nearly 12 months – unconnected to anything.  I guess it all came to a head in April when the relationship died, but I think I’d been feeling it since just before I left England.  I had no connections to family there, my friendships felt tenuous because I pushed people away (although some of the people I met in England and the people I reconnected with there are some of the most beautiful people I know), and then I landed back in the big red land and everyone had moved on.  The perpetually single girlfriend was engaged, my best friend was still travelling, and then I moved out to the edge of civilisation where I knew a few people but would never have said I knew them well.

Something clicked in this past month or so.  I realised that I was drifting, and I needed to find a tether.  I needed to get back on to the jetty of life and start walking back towards people and places I loved.    I crave affection and strong emotional links with people, and if I don’t have them, who’s fault is it but my own?  So I started dating casually again, getting in touch with old high school friends, remembered to text and call and email.  I was cleared by the surgeon and the physio to start walking and exercising again, so I even started reconnecting with my dog as we walk every morning again.  It’s amazing how social the dog park can be, for people as well as puppies.

I think this is something I think about every now and then, but I get so lonely in my isolation.  So I try to reconnect on surface levels such as facebooking and texting.  But this week in particular, I made the effort to SEE people.  TALK to people.

Felt so much better.


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