I am a compulsive list maker. It’s what I do. It’s how I measure what I have accomplished, and is, in a way, a strategy I use to manage my mental illness, Borderline Personality Disorder.
For those of you unfamiliar with this illness – and to be fair, as someone who’s lived with it all my life, all I can do is explain MY version – it’s like walking a fine line between happy and not happy. Most of the time, you walk the line fine, and life’s little nudges do nothing to make you waver. But after a few too many knocks, you fall over into the other side, and that’s when the scary starts. Sometimes it’s just a little scary – tears and feeling sad. Sometimes it’s hide-the-knives-and-lock-the-medicine-cabinet. On the way to getting back on the line, sometimes you fall over the otherside into mania. For me, that just means spending more money than I usually would, or sleeping less or, strangely, having a compulsion to clean my ears more frequently. Eventually you get back on the line, and everything goes back to normal.
For me, part of keeping me on the line when life’s knocks are threatening to push me over is to make lists – to do lists; things I’ve accomplished today, this month, this year, this lifetime; things I want to get done eventually and I know will be helpful for me to aim for. So, this part of my website is dedicated to my lists. Perhaps one of them will inspire your own list 😉