Day 5
I woke up so happy today- day 5 and I mostly slept through the night, only waking up once at 2.30 because I was tangled in my sheets. What’s even better? No wobbly brain today. No dead muscles and zappy shocks. I don’t know if it’s the Benadryl from yesterday, or the Valerian encouraging a decent sleep, but I feel ten times better already. This time yesterday I was still battling the alarm; today, I woke up at the first alarm and was perky. I didn’t even really need the other two.
I still have a little bit of slow-brain, where I feel like my brain doesn’t move as fast as my eyes, or they don’t match up, and a few “zings” in my legs and back, but there were no hallucinations in the night, no dreams, and I didn’t wake up feeling of death. Hooray!
Later
The flu-muscle feeling was back, and I did wind up with slow-brain later in the day. I think it’s the benadryl.
Day 6
I didn’t have to work today, so I slept for 15 hours instead. I didn’t take the benadryl, just the Omega 3 and multivitamin, and I definitely had the flu-ey symptoms and sore muscles, definitely slow brain. I think I’ve concluded that the Benadryl is the solution to stopping these things, but the Omega 3 and Multi Vitamin have definitely “eased the pain” of withdrawal.
Still taking the Valerian to sleep – I’ll try easing that off as well next week.
Day 7
Well, today wasn’t a great day. I absolutely lost my shit at TIG. To be fair, he had been a bit of a tosser – he KNEW I’d be up in the afternoon, after speaking to me at lunchtime. Then he was running late – fine, that happens. Originally it was 10 minutes, which I can deal with. It actually wound up being 50 minutes. So I got mad, and it made me overthink everything and brought up a whole bunch of insecurities. Ruined our night out.
I think the main reason I lost it is because a) I had a drink, and it appears that my tolerance for alcohol has dropped MASSIVELY and b) The pseudoephedrine in the Benadryl makes me aggressive. I remember this from a while back, when I was trying to be “hardore” (Read: A Loser, stupid, pick-your-adjective) and heard that PE had similar properties and effects on the body as speed. So, I tried taking cold and flu tablets to get high (again, yes, I know PATHETIC and RIDICULOUS and JUST PLAIN STUPID – in my defence, I was a lot younger). Anyway, I remember getting pretty cranky pretty easily that time too, so I wouldn’t be surprised.
Day 8
No Benadryl today, no Valerian last night either – went for a long walk with TIG and felt really calm after that. Made him dinner, showed him the power of seasoning meat 😉 Had a few drinks… A pint of cider and two glasses of wine, and one ice wine. While I was still on the drugs, that amount of alcohol would have done nothing, and I wouldn’t have had a hangover at all. However, after just one pint of Cider I was well and truly toasted – gave myself about an hour and a bit, two glasses of water, then had wine with dinner, and then the ice wine about two hours after that.
Day 9
So, incredibly, awfully hungover. I haven’t had a hangover like this in YEARS. Hardly slept last night, had really WEIRD dreams, like I was having at the beginning. I know I was snoring as well coz I kept waking myself up with it. So, I came home, ate a chicken salad sandwich and had a margherita pizza for dinner, drank two litres of water and had a nap. Feel a lot better now, but still… why would people do this to themselves EVERY WEEKEND?! I have resolved to not drink like that ever again. How can the drugs have dulled my reaction to alcohol that much, though, that now, being off them and having four drinks over the course of about six hours give me this much hell? Very odd…
I’m off travelling again this week, to Edinburgh and Dublin, but I will keep the diary there too. On the upside, I haven’t used Valerian since day 6, nor the Benadryl since Day 7 (after being that much of a psycho, I don’t think I’m likely to, unless the zaps return). If you’re following my detox with your own – GOOD LUCK! Hope it’s going okay. Get in touch if you want 🙂
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